Disclosure

A child may tell you about their abuse in a variety of ways. Although some may come to you in private and disclose what is going on, most children will not. More common ways for a child to disclose abuse or neglect include the following:

Indirect hints: A child may not be able to talk in specific terms because they have not learned the vocabulary or feel too ashamed or embarrassed. The child may have promised not to tell. Although you may encourage the child to provide more specifics so that you can determine if abuse or neglect took place, remember that you do not need to know exactly what form of abuse has occurred. The child may say such things as: "My brother (sister) wouldn’t let me sleep last night." "Mr. Smith wears funny underwear." "Daddy doesn’t like me." "My babysitter keeps bothering me."

Disguised disclosure: In this case the child may pretend to be talking about a friend or brother or sister, but is most likely talking about him or herself. The child may say the following: "I know someone who is being touched in a bad way." "What would happen if a girl told her mother she was being molested but her mother didn’t believe her?"

Disclosure with strings attached: Most children are aware that there are consequences to their disclosure and may offer to share their problem but only with the promise that no one else be told. You need to let the child know that you would like to help but that the law requires you to make a report if the child talks about abuse or neglect. It is against the law for you not to report just as it is against the law that the abuse has occurred. Help the child to understand that you will respect his or her confidentiality and will not discuss the abuse with anyone other than those directly involved in the legal process.